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Thursday, December 22, 2011

Are You Sitting Down?

Where do we go when we no longer wish to jump, but our childhood jumping background has us going into 2-point or some bastardization thereof? One man's fetal crouch is another man's 2 point! A lot of reriders have to master the whole sit yo ass down technique! You're not careening towards a jump, or careening at all for that matter. Not much good comes from leaning forward. That's where the mane is if you want to grab it, but the handy dandy sit yo ass down and ride keeps you from HAVING to grab mane in the first place. How do we learn it?

Longe lessons. Difficult to find, quite valuable to building a good seat, and the way all riders should be started. For every soul on a message board who proudly blowhards: "I start all my riders on the longe", they sure are hard to find.

Self-longing. Self-lunging? Self-longing is when I'm like wtf why is my life not more awesome? Self-lunge-ing. Round pens have never been better! I spent some goodly time in the round pen with a grab strap willing myself to "sit yo ass down."

What if I have neither longe lesson nor round pen, Witty Horse? Glad you asked. In this case you are down to one option. You must hire Suze Orman to yell at you while you ride. She is the scariest person I've ever seen. She will burst a blood vessel as she shrills: "That SADDLE cost you $2000 PLUS interest PLUS several months' LATE fees! You must SIT on it and RIDE. But you can't. Get off. Just, just, get off. You can't afford this. Sell everything, move into your car, and know your credit score. Stick around, because in a few minutes I'm going to pretend to say something inspirational even though I just melted your dreams with my words."

Happy riding!