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Sunday, December 18, 2011

Clothes Horse

As I mentioned previously, I'm partial to all disciplines. Ponykins is currently in a dressage saddle, in which I work tirelessly to attain an independent seat (it's coming!). But I've also asked Santa for a western saddle, and look forward to bombing around in that. It's all good. Okay, maybe not all good. Here are a few things I find heinous:

Showmanship pants. I cant look at those and breathe at the same time. Sure, they look nice on our model here, but that's a model with a long-ass torso. Those of us less vertically gifted do not find this comfortable. I assure you that I don't require some kind of pants/corset/strapless bra combo to show my horse in-hand. Pants don't need to come up past my waist. I'm having flashbacks to Beverly Hills 90210 now. Let's step back in time.

Western shirt. Why a large collar? I have a feeling the phrase "catch the judge's eye" is lurking somewhere close. You know what else would catch the judge's eye?

This fellow. Same collar, same verse, worse than the first. I want to wear a western hat and chaps, but not at the expense of looking like a Halloween costume.

Recently Kerrits thought they'd dink around with tradition in the English show world, and THIS hit the market. I love me some futuristic-looking helmets, but don't mess with what should be a smartly-tailored jacket. This looks like it was designed by a physical education teacher or something, which is so wrong because they don't think riding is exercise, anyway. We'll quit trying to convince you riding is hard work and you keep your hands off our gear.

What did I leave out? Most equestrian attire is very fashionable. It's no accident that the horsey look shows up on the runways every autumn. What can I say? It's just another way the horse thing is effortlessly fabulous.