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Sunday, December 18, 2011

Clothes Horse

As I mentioned previously, I'm partial to all disciplines. Ponykins is currently in a dressage saddle, in which I work tirelessly to attain an independent seat (it's coming!). But I've also asked Santa for a western saddle, and look forward to bombing around in that. It's all good. Okay, maybe not all good. Here are a few things I find heinous:

Showmanship pants. I cant look at those and breathe at the same time. Sure, they look nice on our model here, but that's a model with a long-ass torso. Those of us less vertically gifted do not find this comfortable. I assure you that I don't require some kind of pants/corset/strapless bra combo to show my horse in-hand. Pants don't need to come up past my waist. I'm having flashbacks to Beverly Hills 90210 now. Let's step back in time.

Western shirt. Why a large collar? I have a feeling the phrase "catch the judge's eye" is lurking somewhere close. You know what else would catch the judge's eye?

This fellow. Same collar, same verse, worse than the first. I want to wear a western hat and chaps, but not at the expense of looking like a Halloween costume.

Recently Kerrits thought they'd dink around with tradition in the English show world, and THIS hit the market. I love me some futuristic-looking helmets, but don't mess with what should be a smartly-tailored jacket. This looks like it was designed by a physical education teacher or something, which is so wrong because they don't think riding is exercise, anyway. We'll quit trying to convince you riding is hard work and you keep your hands off our gear.

What did I leave out? Most equestrian attire is very fashionable. It's no accident that the horsey look shows up on the runways every autumn. What can I say? It's just another way the horse thing is effortlessly fabulous.


  1. Aside from some Ariat FatBabys, I am not a fan of Western attire, either! Nobody looks good in it!

  2. I ride western, but I do NOT like the clothes.

    The shoes? Sure. Everything else looks like some kind of 'cowgirl barbie' outfit.

  3. Hee hee! I don't know, I confess to a few pangs of longing to show my husband what I'd look like in a nice Slinky... of course, the sports bra I must wear so I don't knock myself out while riding would not add much to it. :-) Get those girls front and center, ladies, the judge is lookin' for them!

    Seriously, it's a little "not fair" that the Western folks get most of the bling. The dressage world is allowing people to go hog-wild with the browbands, and the H/J peeps can now decorate their custom tall boots with snakeskin and sparkly swagger tabs, but that's about all we get. For a while those rhinestone-encrusted belts were in, hidden under hunt coats, but that trend seems to have gone by the wayside (I'm sure George is terribly relieved). I have seen blingy spurs for sale as well - those must send the latter guru into orbit!